Dieting | Michael McIntyre

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  • Published on Oct 8, 2019
  • My wife sent me to an Austrian weight loss clinic and said, “Come back better looking”.
    #MichaelMcIntyre #Dieting #Food
  • Comedy

Comments • 251

  • Lua
    Lua 6 hours ago

    It’s the Mayr Clinic if anyone was wondering

  • Diane Clark
    Diane Clark 15 hours ago

    My best is when he jokes about letting someone in front of you in the traffic. Hahahahahaha!

  • Diane Clark
    Diane Clark 15 hours ago

    He is so hilarious. Could watch for days. Love him.

  • floww bucket
    floww bucket 19 hours ago

    Who's dieting 😴

  • Monique Uhrmacher

    😂😂😂😂

  • Let your mind be free - Meditate

    Gas- couldn't stop laughing

  • Grace Valle
    Grace Valle Day ago

    How does he make it funny? Something that I get so desperate to do. My cousin is 26 and does not get fat at all 😒. She does not exercise. Her favorite food is French fries 😱 and she stays skinny. 🤔 How could she be related to me. 😣

  • Fred Creedy
    Fred Creedy Day ago

    I find this guy about as funny as a cancer diagnosis!

  • Neil Egan
    Neil Egan Day ago

    unfunny shouty twat

  • Mixed AMVs
    Mixed AMVs Day ago +8

    “Don’t be too happy, this is a temporary situation” me though 😂

  • James Robb Àrtist42

    My favourite all time comedian

  • Kathleen Bennett

    Hahah!! Exactly

  • Khanage911
    Khanage911 2 days ago

    Stone = 14 pounds
    Your welcome

  • BARBER Turko
    BARBER Turko 2 days ago

    He need to new hair style

  • Nisha K
    Nisha K 2 days ago

    I have done water fasting in the past and this is hilariously accurate😂

    • Mohammed Israr
      Mohammed Israr Day ago

      @Nisha K I would have to disagree. Muslims all over the world, fast from sunrise to sunset, and no one has ever come to any type of harm as a result of fasting. Even children fast.

    • Nisha K
      Nisha K Day ago

      @Mohammed Israr water fasting is the best method. Cutting out water may be lethal, you know

    • Mohammed Israr
      Mohammed Israr 2 days ago

      lol @ water fasting. Try real fasting.

  • Rumesha Jeyavudeen
    Rumesha Jeyavudeen 2 days ago +64

    I’m afraid to go to any of his shows since I might literally die from laughter

    • Ella D
      Ella D Day ago

      Yato

    • Jodie Mullan
      Jodie Mullan 2 days ago

      I've been and i swear i was sobbing from laughing so hard

  • J C
    J C 2 days ago

    He is brilliant in his observation skills. 👍

  • Rich Boy P
    Rich Boy P 2 days ago

    Sub my page guys new track on now blowing up like 🏎💨💨💨💨🔥🔥🔥🔥

  • Simge Karabulut
    Simge Karabulut 2 days ago +28

    I watch Michael when I'm feeling really down and he never fails to make me laugh

  • anita gerard
    anita gerard 2 days ago

    Superb

  • jcook109
    jcook109 3 days ago

    The Scottish comic Frankie Boyle's piss take on this guy is spot on...he's just not that funny!

  • SeraphicSamantha
    SeraphicSamantha 3 days ago +5

    Dieting - the thing i can never commit to

  • Nazeeda Kors
    Nazeeda Kors 3 days ago

    😂😂😂😂👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼

  • Mr T
    Mr T 3 days ago +3

    This guy is not funny at all. Must Appeal to half wits!

  • Karen Curtis
    Karen Curtis 3 days ago

    My fridge doesn't make a noice thank goodness, I would keep the wife awake all night. Pp, snack , pp, snack 😴🤗😳

  • Vote for Pedro
    Vote for Pedro 3 days ago +1

    loveeee his physical comedy! kills me :p

  • Esther ‘-‘
    Esther ‘-‘ 3 days ago +1

    TrEnDiNg

  • Wendy Dee
    Wendy Dee 4 days ago +8

    I absolutely adore this man! Just wondering if anyone else is using google to find out how to lose 14lbs (1 stone) in a week using epsom salt? Without the fasting lol

  • Copper Bunnies
    Copper Bunnies 4 days ago

    does a very good zombie impression

  • Tekashi 6ix9ine
    Tekashi 6ix9ine 4 days ago

    I thought he was a comedian 🤔

  • sad boi
    sad boi 4 days ago +4

    As a skeleton I feel quite saddened by this

  • dylan Kirkland
    dylan Kirkland 4 days ago +1

    Going to get a snack now.

  • Charming nowhere to hide
    Charming nowhere to hide 4 days ago +10

    I have watched is so many times in always makes me laugh.

  • dagmarka lucic
    dagmarka lucic 4 days ago

    It would be awesome when he would come to Vienna.

  • madhav raj
    madhav raj 4 days ago

    People uhv to gain muscle thats it
    If u dont eat ur metabolism will fk up n will regain weight faster n more weight
    U just to lift weight n eat a protein rich diet n thats it u will be amazed
    Thats applicable to both sexes

  • Hugh Conboy
    Hugh Conboy 4 days ago

    I like it how he's both funny and fat. Because a lot of these comedians think that they're funny, but they're not. And many think that because they're fat that they're entitled to their own tv show, when in fact they're not because they're not even funny.

  • DoubleDeckerAnton
    DoubleDeckerAnton 4 days ago +3

    There is a guy on 'The Apprentice' on BBC1 who reminds me of you...!!! 😂🤣

    • A Man Has No Name
      A Man Has No Name 2 days ago +3

      The guy on The Apprentice is a LOT more effeminate though 😂😂

  • Sharon P
    Sharon P 4 days ago +2

    Why not just go on a plant-based diet, lost weight and healthy

  • Paul Osc Slots
    Paul Osc Slots 4 days ago

    This guy was funny for about a week some years ago. His act is literally the same every time.

  • Ellen Herman
    Ellen Herman 4 days ago +1

    Omg i get a headache laughing so hard!!!

  • Leopard Bra Brado
    Leopard Bra Brado 5 days ago

    I think I may have peed a little 😂😂😂😂

  • Amas Bansal Art
    Amas Bansal Art 5 days ago +73

    McIntyre's physical comedy is unmatched. Hilarious.

    • M3rlin
      M3rlin Day ago

      @Amas Bansal Art yeah. you get tired just watching him run and jump around.

    • Amas Bansal Art
      Amas Bansal Art 2 days ago +1

      @M3rlin ohh good one. He's a bit frantic for my taste though.

    • M3rlin
      M3rlin 2 days ago +1

      Lee Evans.

  • sillyme sillyyou
    sillyme sillyyou 5 days ago

    The newest language- stomach growl.

    • hen ko
      hen ko 4 days ago

      much that you could chew them in anger

  • FJ HAYDN
    FJ HAYDN 5 days ago

    Ha, ha! I found a new one

    • FJ HAYDN
      FJ HAYDN 4 days ago

      @Leopard Bra Brado ? (I found a new McINTYRE SKETCH)

    • Leopard Bra Brado
      Leopard Bra Brado 5 days ago

      much that you could chew them in anger

  • Cassie
    Cassie 5 days ago

    the body. The only good solution is a healthy diet and exercise.

    • hen ko
      hen ko 4 days ago

      you should invite me for dinner sometimes.... i'll eat it all....i wont leave anything to you...and i promise not to bring reading glasses, pens, nor books...you hate those things so

  • Cashmeoutside Howbowdah

    This is probably funny if you're boring as fuck

  • LDC
    LDC 5 days ago +2

    Michael, Michael, Michael... god you're the best

  • Manny Khan
    Manny Khan 5 days ago

    Laughed so hard I had to go to the loo

    • Cassie
      Cassie 5 days ago

      😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣

  • Good things Out there
    Good things Out there 5 days ago +3

    One of the great one... today all comedian was only curse and make jokes only about one thing.. this one is real talent

  • brucedickinson12
    brucedickinson12 5 days ago +1

    wanka

  • joanne greedy
    joanne greedy 5 days ago

    OMG....so funny

  • Zina Stanescu
    Zina Stanescu 5 days ago

    In every private hospital is the same, they not give you proper food .

  • hen ko
    hen ko 5 days ago

    Hi five fellow dieters 🙌

  • kernowarty
    kernowarty 5 days ago +5

    Why does he talk as if he is talking to a baby?

    • kernowarty
      kernowarty 2 days ago +1

      @Martin Ward Yes, but he is not talking to babies is he. He is talking to adults.

    • Martin Ward
      Martin Ward 3 days ago +2

      Because he has young kids. Poo and pee pee are normal words to be now 😂

  • Mer cordi
    Mer cordi 5 days ago

    As sanitary profesional that is not healthy! Really funny 😋

  • CarelessPanda 22
    CarelessPanda 22 5 days ago +101

    When you pay to not eat food
    Poor people can’t relate

    • hen ko
      hen ko 5 days ago +2

      Wow, retardation and anti-health in one.

  • Jennifer Grant
    Jennifer Grant 5 days ago

    I love your comedy. So Funny! because it's True! Very glad to discover MM. XXX

  • GraceFace
    GraceFace 5 days ago +1

    I work in a health food shop but I don’t have anything to do with that lifestyle. So ironically I’m the healthiest looking thing there

  • sexypoetry
    sexypoetry 5 days ago +1

    you should invite me for dinner sometimes.... i'll eat it all....i wont leave anything to you...and i promise not to bring reading glasses, pens, nor books...you hate those things so much that you could chew them in anger

  • Samuelson baker
    Samuelson baker 5 days ago +1

    From 2:00 onwards thats some of the best stand up writing Ive seen in years from anyone .

  • Resonance
    Resonance 5 days ago

    Metabolism is basically your heart rate at rest, so a fast metabolism is where (is at rest) your heart is going fast, which means your probably very ill or fat, at rest your heart should be around 60-70bpm (normal). A slow metabolism is the opposite and means your probably an athlete or very ill.

  • Scott Mcrae
    Scott Mcrae 5 days ago +1

    OK WE GET IT EVERYINE THAT DOES THIS. 👌👌👌 ON EVERY VIDEO U WORSHIP A GOAT WITH TITS GOOD FOR U NOW ENOUGH.

  • Jac Crystal
    Jac Crystal 5 days ago

    Whererabouts in Austria-Linz? Is Michael telling us that he is a secret 'uber alles' luvver?

    • Lisa Kleeven
      Lisa Kleeven 17 hours ago

      Ottavia Zwillenberg Lanser Hof is a Mayr clinic

    • Ottavia Zwillenberg
      Ottavia Zwillenberg 20 hours ago

      Lisa Kleeven no it’s Mayr clinic

    • Lisa Kleeven
      Lisa Kleeven 4 days ago

      Jac Crystal i think it‘s a place called Lanzer Hof in Tyrol he‘s talking about! sounds JUST like it

  • Romans 12
    Romans 12 5 days ago +4

    God loves you. Lord Jesus Christ his son died for you. Repent of your sins and turn to Lord Jesus for salvation and eternal life. INTOUCH.ORG

  • Ala Farah
    Ala Farah 5 days ago

    This was so funny... absolutely hilarious 😂😂😂😂😂 my fav McIntyre comedy routine

  • misolou fout
    misolou fout 5 days ago +2

    The ad before this video was for chocolate!

  • Mojo Jojo
    Mojo Jojo 5 days ago +14

    He is so hyper on stage, you would think he would be thin.

    - Mojo JoJo 🦍

    • liam whitcombe
      liam whitcombe 4 days ago

      & after paying good money to watch him, you'd think the twat would be just a tiny bit funny

    • Mane: I Choose you!!
      Mane: I Choose you!! 5 days ago

      @Mojo Jojo talcum powder goes on the wrong side 😂😉

    • Mojo Jojo
      Mojo Jojo 5 days ago

      @Mane: I Choose you!!I'm not getting lucky then 😭

    • Mane: I Choose you!!
      Mane: I Choose you!! 5 days ago

      @Mojo Jojo sorry, I stopped using talcum powder when I was 2.

    • Mojo Jojo
      Mojo Jojo 5 days ago

      @Mane: I Choose you!! Lovely IL bring the powder you can get the drinks 😘

  • Tee Jay
    Tee Jay 5 days ago +1

    Excellent, love the bit about the dodgy prawn helping. I shed half a stone in a week after a dodgy burger. Wouldn't recommend it though!

    • misolou fout
      misolou fout 5 days ago

      People with high metabolism want to gain weight, whereas, people with low metabolism want to lose wife 😂😂😂 WHO GETS IT🤣

  • Matt Rose
    Matt Rose 6 days ago +6

    Any reason why this is trending all of a sudden?

  • Mike B
    Mike B 6 days ago

    Wow, retardation and anti-health in one.

  • doliio volay
    doliio volay 6 days ago +29

    Michael never fail us when he share his lovely story. Love it.

  • Milady Blue
    Milady Blue 6 days ago +64

    My stomach was speaking to my friend's husband's stomach, while my friend sat between us. It sounded like the sound production studio for Jurassic Park. She finally got upset and said, "Would you two please eat something? You're making me nervous!"

  • oiuet souiu
    oiuet souiu 6 days ago +2

    Best explanation of metabolism, ever!

  • FluffyUkkie
    FluffyUkkie 6 days ago +9

    Reading the comments while my stomach is screaming HEEEELP xDDD

  • Jason Watson
    Jason Watson 6 days ago

    You make me laugh so much

  • Juju
    Juju 6 days ago +2

    McIntyre. This one made me laugh. 👍🏻

  • Aso
    Aso 6 days ago +2

    I love this male

    • p Ww
      p Ww 6 days ago

      Shemale

  • Ruza Hel
    Ruza Hel 6 days ago

    I love the tune of that whistle. Lol.

  • Rhea Fraser
    Rhea Fraser 6 days ago +5

    Haven’t started watching it yet but I already know it’s gonna be good.

  • R. F.
    R. F. 6 days ago +1

    First time i actually found him funny! Good job sir

    • Vicki Carr
      Vicki Carr 6 days ago

      This surprises me! I think he is hysterical!

  • Kristine Bellamy
    Kristine Bellamy 6 days ago +1

    Love these videos. Makes me laugh on the worst of days. Thank you so much, Michael ❤️

    • opzz xsin
      opzz xsin 6 days ago

      I think I may have peed a little 😂😂😂😂

  • Kj47
    Kj47 6 days ago +2

    People with high metabolism want to gain weight, whereas, people with low metabolism want to lose wife 😂😂😂 WHO GETS IT🤣

  • Simon Stevens
    Simon Stevens 6 days ago +18

    Spotlight dude needs a raise

  • fahad king
    fahad king 6 days ago +1

    You know what I don't appericate the fact that you suddenly upload this video in the first week of my diet are you trying to send me a message

  • Marcus Rakyat
    Marcus Rakyat 6 days ago +33

    Michael never fail us when he share his lovely story. Love it.

  • Amaya Strata
    Amaya Strata 6 days ago +20

    The ad before this video was for chocolate!

  • Matthew Randell
    Matthew Randell 7 days ago

    Ballsy to include something so unrelatable

    • Matthew Randell
      Matthew Randell 6 days ago

      @Solox what? I didn't

    • Solox
      Solox 6 days ago

      @Matthew Randell chill dude I was just replying to your comment. No need to personally attack me.

    • Matthew Randell
      Matthew Randell 6 days ago

      @Solox Not as much as a ££££ European weight loss camp. I think it worked well, I'm just surprised it did. Guy gives a great show

    • Solox
      Solox 6 days ago

      You're unrelatable

  • Marie Seah
    Marie Seah 7 days ago +2

    Omg. I laughed so hard at this!!! 😂😂😂

  • Lifter Of Shirts
    Lifter Of Shirts 7 days ago +2

    Here's a word of advice for any of you out there - NEVER work with either vegetarians or vegans. Where I used to work many years ago there were a lot of them and I'd ALWAYS note whenever any of them went to the toilet and I actively avoided going in there immediately after them! I don't know much about " I'd give it five minutes if I were you, Mate! " it was more like " I'd give it five HOURS if I were you! ".
    If I was absolutely desperate to use the toilet I'd make a point of covering my nose before I even walked in there and also took my personal deodorant with me to try to eradicate the unbearable and inevitable stench by using it as an air freshener as soon as I walked through the door. The funniest thing about it was that all of them were oblivious to the amount of stink that they were producing for the rest of us omnivores to endure on a daily basis.

  • Sheryl Brown
    Sheryl Brown 7 days ago

    😂😂😂

  • Rose Wood
    Rose Wood 7 days ago

    Lol so good.

  • Me
    Me 7 days ago +1

    Want to lose weight fast? I took picoprep . I was also eating jelly and Gatorade. I did that before a colonoscopy and gastrophy. In total 4 pounds. Mind you everything is flushed out so it weakens the immune system and I was bed bound with 2 bouts of influenza . It almost took me out. Just be sensible.

  • Em Dee
    Em Dee 7 days ago +8

    You, sir, are freaking amazing!

  • Rianna Warne
    Rianna Warne 7 days ago +1

    Hahahaha

  • Shape-shiftingCat AndHerMinions

    I think I may have peed a little 😂😂😂😂

  • Sharon Mullins
    Sharon Mullins 7 days ago +204

    He is so hyper on stage, you would think he would be thin.

    • give me food pls
      give me food pls 3 days ago +1

      his calves are so muscular though lol

    • Shreetu Shah
      Shreetu Shah 5 days ago +1

      Best comment! 🤣

    • Vicki Carr
      Vicki Carr 6 days ago +15

      So true! He was jumping around all over the stage - and not breathless!

  • Leporello the Goldfinch – Birdtaming Tips & Tricks

    As an Austrian, the concept of foreigners coming here to diet is simply bizarre. Our entire cuisine consists of meat in various states, and sugary confections!

    • What Ever
      What Ever 10 hours ago

      But you're all so fucking thin. It's frustrating.

    • Gugu M
      Gugu M 11 hours ago

      It just means the person who created the diet is an Austrian citizen, not that Austrians eat well 🤣

    • Joshua Morris
      Joshua Morris 5 days ago

      Leporello the Goldfinch - Birdtaming Tips & Tricks Austria?…well then, good day mate. let’s put another shrimp on the barbie.

    • Amy Pattie
      Amy Pattie 6 days ago +5

      All the meat and sugar might explain why they need an intensive diet clinic.

    • Julie Lehner
      Julie Lehner 6 days ago

      It was supposed to be funny not taken seriously. But Austrians have a very odd sense of humour. I know because I live in Austria.

  • Mr Jimmy Gaming
    Mr Jimmy Gaming 7 days ago +14

    I have watched is so many times in always makes me laugh.

  • Time Bandit
    Time Bandit 7 days ago +33

    This is funny, but when you starve yourself, you actually do damage to your body and your heart. Also it causes your body to store fat in case of another starvation episode. Through the centuries people went through periods of feast and famine. Storing fat and then losing it during famine. This is a roller coaster effect and causes extreme stress on the body. The only good solution is a healthy diet and exercise.

    • soundtrackmaker
      soundtrackmaker 4 days ago

      I think this is just part of his stand up, let's not analyse it too much

    • Mane: I Choose you!!
      Mane: I Choose you!! 5 days ago

      @Kristine Bellamy maybe I've misunderstood, but surely the idea of not eating enough and fasting are not a million miles apart? The OP's point was that starving yourself actually harms the body, with the only solution being a healthy diet and exercise. This obviously isn't true, as autophagy (and several people I know) can attest to. Autophagy doesn't suggest what to do outside of fasting I.e. exercise, controlled diet etc, simply that fasting will help optimise your cells' activity. The OP's post doesn't suggest that at all.

    • Kristine Bellamy
      Kristine Bellamy 5 days ago +2

      Mane: I Choose you!! Not in my case. Autophagy needs intermittent fasting to set in, like 2 days out of every week. Not the constant under-nourishment that you put your body through when just not eating enough.

    • Mane: I Choose you!!
      Mane: I Choose you!! 5 days ago +3

      @Kristine Bellamy gen li is actually right. Look up yoshinori ohsumi, the 2016 nobel prize winner for his discovery of authophagy.

    • Yingqun Chen
      Yingqun Chen 5 days ago

      Me who starved myself today: this is normal

  • Karen Aragón
    Karen Aragón 7 days ago +4

    Hilarious! 😂😂😂 Couldn’t stop laughing