The Terrifying Difference Between Night And Day In The Countryside | Michael McIntyre

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  • Published on Sep 7, 2019
  • Moving out of the city backfires...
    #MichaelMcIntyre #Countryside #RoyalVariety
  • Comedy

Comments • 311

  • Shanan Alexander
    Shanan Alexander 2 hours ago

    I live in Texas but my daughter lives in England. I have told her to go see you Michael McIntyre. I would All the time if I could. You are so funny. My daughter lives in Lakenheath. Her husband is a fire fighter. First Response in the Air Force. I told them to go see you. My son goes to London all the time with his job. I told him to go see you too. I can’t but I am trying to get them to because you are so funny I think they...know that they would enjoy the show.

  • Flat Eric
    Flat Eric 17 hours ago

    How unworldly wise do you have to be to find someone telling you it’s dark in the countryside funny?

  • julie silverwood
    julie silverwood 18 hours ago

    Hes so funny, he makes me laugh so much.

  • Ange
    Ange 22 hours ago

    Never found him funny, annoying yes. 🙄

  • sprklvel
    sprklvel 3 days ago

    yup.

  • I am just a mom doing the best I can

    Actually the screaming and "caws" was most likely the foxes!😂🤣

  • chaosda
    chaosda 4 days ago +3

    I feel like if he ever heard Coyotes yipping or wolves howling he would have a heart attack.

  • ThatguywiththeAegis
    ThatguywiththeAegis 4 days ago +2

    We, the rural peoples, have organized it thus to keep the city dwellers out.

  • None Ofyourbusines
    None Ofyourbusines 4 days ago

    Your jokes are a bit like night and day.. there's funny and unfunny ..

  • JackhammerJesus
    JackhammerJesus 4 days ago

    I want to be there when he hears a deer for the first time!

  • KawiLover250
    KawiLover250 5 days ago

    😂😂😂😂😂

  • Stephen Mason
    Stephen Mason 5 days ago +1

    Which is why there is no peace of mind as great as the sound of loading a shotgun.

  • SpaghettiTrain
    SpaghettiTrain 5 days ago

    Wait a minute, I live in London and I HEAR ALL THESE THINGS lmao. The foxes literally have turf wars at night, it's horrific sometimes.

  • Russell Chapman Esq.

    A city pussy can't handle nature.

  • Clothilde
    Clothilde 5 days ago

    His fox impression is too bloody funny! 🦊

    • B T
      B T 3 days ago

      You look like a fox.

  • Timothy Lee
    Timothy Lee 5 days ago

    Your right: much better off if you stayed in London. funny, that

  • singers1990
    singers1990 5 days ago

    Brilliant.

  • DarkByDesign
    DarkByDesign 5 days ago

    lol

  • hugh Jass
    hugh Jass 6 days ago +1

    "comedy" for middle class Tories.

    • Flat Eric
      Flat Eric 3 hours ago

      hugh Jass ‘comedy’ for people who have no idea what comedy is

  • Oni Mask
    Oni Mask 6 days ago +1

    I live in the forrest.. I can confirm all this is childs play

  • Melissa Dyson
    Melissa Dyson 6 days ago +32

    Oh boy, he should visit Tasmania, they call them tasmanian devils because of the sounds they make at night. Early settlers thought it was demons making the noise 😂

    • Avery Esther
      Avery Esther 4 days ago

      I know right! They sound completely terrifying. Possums sound so bad too eh.

  • gemini star
    gemini star 7 days ago +2

    I grew up in the Aussie bush. Spiders, snakes, Crocs, dingoes. No problem. I spent 3 months in England... agree , trying to drive around the English countryside was just confounding.

  • John sweda
    John sweda 7 days ago

    I thought he was going to say my wife's has a dream of having a big dick in side her.
    Now that's comedy!!

  • Terence Jay
    Terence Jay 7 days ago

    I'm now 'in the countryside' and it gets so totally pitch black I can't walk from the garage to the back door without a torch. (Not put the outside lighting in yet..) Without a torch I'm likely to just walk straight into the brickwork. My postcode also takes drivers down a dead-end, so for every delivery I add 'Do Not Follow Sat-Nav once in the village'. Anyone trying to steal the car is likely to just fall into the trench where the new drains are going.

  • Servus
    Servus 7 days ago +1

    Don’t find Micheal Mcintyre funny at all he’s just annoying and the Countryside sounds nothing like this🤷‍♂️

  • paul McAllister
    paul McAllister 7 days ago +1

    Sorry but never heard a fox make the noise he suggested.

  • R.N V.H
    R.N V.H 7 days ago

    I stayed in the country... in Kenya.. Cabin in the wood, Isiolo, you could see the mountain and the animal sounds in the night were interesting... we also got an elephant scratching its back with the help of my bedroom wall. lol and in the morning saw a leopard chilling on the couch outside. no wonder we had guns everywhere. it was amazing! #memories #kenyarocks

  • Hinderlengjes
    Hinderlengjes 7 days ago +25

    I can tell you what happens if you call 999 on the road to a public park in broad daylight in the middle of summer, when you find a cyclist bleeding in the middle of the road.
    Fire, police or Ambulance.
    Ambulance.
    What is the name of your street?
    It's not a street, it's the road from the A### to Whatever public park.
    What is the name of your street?
    It hasn't got a name. It's the road that leads from the A### to Whatever public park.
    You need to tell me the name of your street.
    (Loop back and repeat several times.)
    This is the first time I have ever called 999, and I am appalled at your lack of understanding of the fact that roads in the countyside do not have street names.
    If that's your attitude, I can easily hang up.

    True fact.

  • Wen Nell
    Wen Nell 7 days ago

    William and Kate

  • Timothy Musson
    Timothy Musson 7 days ago

    It sounds like they had a possum :)

  • jk
    jk 7 days ago +4

    -What does the fox say?
    - 2:30

  • Paul Byrnes
    Paul Byrnes 8 days ago +2

    They took frankie Boyle off the bbc to let this bloke have more air time 😴

  • Ms SimpsonTV
    Ms SimpsonTV 8 days ago +4

    Night shift Animals and Giving directions..SO TRUE,Plus I swear I leave my normal sweet cats outside,by night time it's like WTF is that noise, what are those things outside...the night shift cats lol.. you give directions by puddles,and where the local cop ate his sandwiches earlier :D and Yes the Sun goes down COMPLETELY LOL

  • Mr Fact Lover -subscribe to my channel

    Cats are the worst, at night they used to keep my up at night making all kind of strange sounds. The loudest sounds they make are when they have a territorial fight and scream at each other for 2 hours before finally having some sort of a fight. I knocked on the window and shouted myself to scare them but they ignore it completely.

  • Alex Sebley
    Alex Sebley 8 days ago

    about as funny as cancer

  • The Witches Coven of Divination

    So funny! 😁

  • Glen Wright
    Glen Wright 8 days ago

    I live in the Jungle. The night is terrifying.

  • Robert Iggulden
    Robert Iggulden 8 days ago +5

    He forgot badgers snacking on hedgehogs and smashing up your fences

  • Resologist
    Resologist 8 days ago

    SPAM! SPAM! SPAM! SPAM! SPAM! SPAM! SPAM! SPAM! SPAM! SPAM! DON'T LIKE BEING SPAMMED??? NEITHER DO I! STOP FLASH-PLAYER SPAMMING PEOPLE TO WATCH YOUR CRAP VIDEOS!

  • Resologist
    Resologist 8 days ago

    SPAM! SPAM! SPAM! SPAM! SPAM! SPAM! SPAM! SPAM! SPAM! SPAM! DON'T LIKE BEING SPAMMED??? NEITHER DO I! STOP FLASH-PLAYER SPAMMING PEOPLE TO WATCH YOUR CRAP VIDEOS!

  • Resologist
    Resologist 8 days ago

    SPAM! SPAM! SPAM! SPAM! SPAM! SPAM! SPAM! SPAM! SPAM! SPAM! DON'T LIKE BEING SPAMMED??? NEITHER DO I! STOP FLASH-PLAYER SPAMMING PEOPLE TO WATCH YOUR CRAP VIDEOS!

  • Eleanor Jolley
    Eleanor Jolley 8 days ago

    His country accent 🤣🤣

  • Karen Curtis
    Karen Curtis 8 days ago

    Happy days. I would love to be in the audience, but I'm sure the theatre owner would be great full I wasn't. I would break the seat , maybe leave a damp patch , let's be real a huge wet patch . Take care everyone 😉

  • Layla Spilsbury
    Layla Spilsbury 8 days ago

    Its funny because its true

  • Simon Pedley
    Simon Pedley 8 days ago

    One of the funniest guys ever!

  • Thom Magnusson
    Thom Magnusson 8 days ago

    Great. Haven't laugh this hard in quite a while.

  • HortonKansas
    HortonKansas 8 days ago

    Yep....spent years in the countryside and heard noises that would make Jesus nervous..... Best years of my life......

  • Alex P
    Alex P 8 days ago

    Two things in this world are always funny. Animals and Michael McIntyre. 😅

  • Noel Piriz
    Noel Piriz 8 days ago

    I cried laughing at the noises.

  • Mary Kennerley
    Mary Kennerley 8 days ago

    I have gone to several houses in the country that only have names but at least the post codes were accurate.

    • Terence Jay
      Terence Jay 7 days ago

      I used to deliver furniture and the rural 'house names on a back-road' were the worst ones to find. That was long before sat-nav.

  • Lusifa
    Lusifa 8 days ago

    This bloke is about as funny as cancer

  • stephen holwell
    stephen holwell 8 days ago

    THE PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN THE CITY WITH GUNS KILL PEOPLE BECAUSE THERE IS NO WILD ANIMALS IN THE CITY . THE PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN THE COUNTRYSIDE WITH GUNS USE THEM TO KILL ANIMALS TO EAT OR TO STOP THE WILD ANIMALS FROM EATING THE LIVE STOCK . NOT TO KILL PEOPLE . AND MOST PEOPLE IN THE COUNTRYSIDE HAVE GUNS ONLY THE PEOPLE WHO HAVE MOVED TO THE COUNTRY SIDE FROM THE CITY'S DON'T HAVE GUNS. AND THEY THINK ITS TERRIBLE THAT PEOPLE HAVE WORKING DOGS TO LOOK AFTER THE LIVE STOCK LIVE OUT SIDE ????

  • Wenche Karlskov
    Wenche Karlskov 8 days ago +1

    I live in the countryside, but I have never heard a fox throw up😂😂😂

  • This Rebel is Scum
    This Rebel is Scum 8 days ago

    If he wants to swap houses, I'd be up for it.

  • Jxck
    Jxck 8 days ago +3

    I love how he doesn't have to relate to sex in all of his jokes,his jokes are so simple yet relatable and funny

  • Rachel Ring
    Rachel Ring 8 days ago

    Brilliant

  • V0r4xiz
    V0r4xiz 8 days ago

    I've called child protection services. Michael's bangs are suffering from shaken baby syndrome to an extent never seen before!

  • Clare Hill
    Clare Hill 8 days ago

    Somerset !

  • geza96
    geza96 8 days ago

    Not that funny ,,, sorry,,, Lee evens, enough said

  • Wankshaftsbury
    Wankshaftsbury 8 days ago +1

    Can he be anymore middle-class and annoying?

  • Stessa UK
    Stessa UK 8 days ago

    This human is hilarious! 😂

  • specialpatrolgroup92
    specialpatrolgroup92 8 days ago +8

    Is this what happens if you live your entire life in London? Down that London Town, they don't understand our simple country ways.

  • Barry Livingstone's Digital Supremacy lifestyle

    meanwhile on Scotland flash-player.org/channel/h3i7psdly7Q-video.html

  • Elizaharp
    Elizaharp 8 days ago

    So funny!!!!

  • Goddess of the oak Gods Peace

    Unfunny fat cunt performing for retards

  • STtyrone
    STtyrone 9 days ago

    lol

  • Kerryn Simmons
    Kerryn Simmons 9 days ago

    The night shift animals 😆

  • merqury5
    merqury5 9 days ago

    Allthough funny he totally stole these two bits off of Louis Ck and Bill Burr.

  • fabiansw8
    fabiansw8 9 days ago +1

    hahaha Cityboy alert, in norway the scariest sound to hear in the night is the great big moose XD

  • DoubleDeckerAnton
    DoubleDeckerAnton 9 days ago +2

    This guy is hilarious...!!! 😂🤣
    He is such a natural at his job...erm i mean comedy...!!! 🗣👌🔝👍

  • Robb Patterson
    Robb Patterson 9 days ago

    obviously he's never heard a fox...they sound more like someone screaming...it's actually far more terrifying

  • ArunPlaysPiano
    ArunPlaysPiano 9 days ago +1

    Crying out for an advert by what3words lol

  • JayBee
    JayBee 9 days ago +2

    Townies. Stay where you are. We don't want you here.

  • Alan Dawson
    Alan Dawson 9 days ago

    Lol

  • Paul Griffiths
    Paul Griffiths 9 days ago

    Hes so boring

  • Oran Somers
    Oran Somers 9 days ago

    When you live in the country and you don’t hear any of these things...

  • Nozyspy
    Nozyspy 9 days ago

    I dont normally like stand up, but this is genuinely hilarious!

  • terrytezzbigtel
    terrytezzbigtel 9 days ago

    Reminded me of my childhood in Suffolk. I live in Brighton now and it's just weird noises from mental people and seagulls

    • Beautiful Dayzee
      Beautiful Dayzee 6 days ago

      Oh my gosh - this was reminding me of Suffolk as well, especially my first time there - my at-the-time fiance's parents lived in Suffolk (near Ed Sheeran's place), now that is 'real country' - and I had to stay there with them for a few winter months while fiance was setting up business elsewhere. I'm from the city, and I will NEVER forget the nights there - the first time I went outside at night, I had the fright of my life! Michael is NOT exaggerating about it haha - and that's what makes it so funny - it's the shared experience of that.. you really can't see anything... I was SO freaked out. (I live in Brighton now too BTW - and I was warned beforehand about the seagulls - but far worse for us is not so much 'mental people's weird noises as drunk students, and drunk other people, walking past talking loudly or shouting, every single night and well into morning...."SHUT UP!!". Hot summer nights when you have to have the windows open are the worst!

  • Jeff Ray
    Jeff Ray 9 days ago

    What a difference a day makes 😍

  • FReviews
    FReviews 9 days ago

    Probably moved because of him being robbed :(

    • James L
      James L 3 days ago +1

      No he has a place both in London and a second home in the country for getaways!!

  • Charlotte Clayton
    Charlotte Clayton 9 days ago +1

    I can confirm all of this. 😂😂

  • WFCsports
    WFCsports 9 days ago +2

    The screaming child sound is foxs having sex, they're always at it.

  • Asif Dutchmaster
    Asif Dutchmaster 9 days ago

    It actually is terrifying driving in the countryside at night.

    • Paul Marchant
      Paul Marchant 7 days ago +1

      It's safer, as you can see any vehicle coming for miles by its lights...... What's the problem? Perhaps the bright red eyes watching you from the hedge?

  • Hari Morjaria
    Hari Morjaria 9 days ago +1

    So take me back to London. 😂😂😂

  • Black Star
    Black Star 9 days ago +1

    Can't stand this pompous cunt truly unfunny 🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧

  • Oskar winters
    Oskar winters 9 days ago +3

    the child screaming noise, is a fox.

    • DavSav93
      DavSav93 8 days ago

      I was thinking that, a vixen noise

  • God's Child
    God's Child 9 days ago

    I LOVE Michael - this is hilarious🤗🤣🤣🤣. I have watched him live at the 02. The best!! As for his book...OMG! Found myself laughing out loud in the underground as I read his book. Love him so much. I could watch him all day

  • Daisy Green
    Daisy Green 9 days ago

    22 on trending! Michael McIntyre always makes me laugh ❤️❤️

  • Alex
    Alex 9 days ago

    God... he is so fucking awful. Comedy for the moronic masses.

  • KaoticBeauty
    KaoticBeauty 9 days ago +1

    Hahaha if I got married I’d be the one answering the sounds in the middle of the night... why? Because I’m always down to swing at something to get rid of some tense energies. Lmao!

  • Sairam Ramachandran
    Sairam Ramachandran 9 days ago +18

    When he says "I think the problem is there is another man in the house. So I'm going to let him be the man of the house now" 😂😂😂😂😂

  • Steve Waters
    Steve Waters 9 days ago +1

    Put the burglar on the phone. Bwahahahaha....

  • Patriarch Of The Sith

    The English countryside sounds like a nursing home.

  • Pragati Bhushan
    Pragati Bhushan 9 days ago

    Too noisy

  • p Ww
    p Ww 9 days ago

    You just know he was the one with tears in this eyes 👀 💦
    Gay... 👍

  • Wes Tuck
    Wes Tuck 9 days ago +4

    I prefer animal noise than sirens any night of the week!

  • Harrison Fearon
    Harrison Fearon 9 days ago +1

    already got more subscribers than Jimmy Carr

  • Brenda Trujillo
    Brenda Trujillo 9 days ago

    Funniest man I’ve seen in decades. There’s nothing funnier than everyday life!

  • Jade featherston
    Jade featherston 9 days ago

    I guess now we know what the fox says....

  • John Kodi
    John Kodi 9 days ago +2

    I live in the country. All of it is true. Ive lived here whole life and i still dont have a clue what bird sounds like that and I would like to keep it like that

    • A. R
      A. R 9 days ago

      🤣🤣🤣