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I live in Texas but my daughter lives in England. I have told her to go see you Michael McIntyre. I would All the time if I could. You are so funny. My daughter lives in Lakenheath. Her husband is a fire fighter. First Response in the Air Force. I told them to go see you. My son goes to London all the time with his job. I told him to go see you too. I can’t but I am trying to get them to because you are so funny I think they...know that they would enjoy the show.
How unworldly wise do you have to be to find someone telling you it’s dark in the countryside funny?
Hes so funny, he makes me laugh so much.
Never found him funny, annoying yes. 🙄
Actually the screaming and "caws" was most likely the foxes!😂🤣
I feel like if he ever heard Coyotes yipping or wolves howling he would have a heart attack.
We, the rural peoples, have organized it thus to keep the city dwellers out.
Your jokes are a bit like night and day.. there's funny and unfunny ..
I want to be there when he hears a deer for the first time!
Which is why there is no peace of mind as great as the sound of loading a shotgun.
Wait a minute, I live in London and I HEAR ALL THESE THINGS lmao. The foxes literally have turf wars at night, it's horrific sometimes.
A city pussy can't handle nature.
His fox impression is too bloody funny! 🦊
You look like a fox.
Your right: much better off if you stayed in London. funny, that
"comedy" for middle class Tories.
hugh Jass ‘comedy’ for people who have no idea what comedy is
I live in the forrest.. I can confirm all this is childs play
Oh boy, he should visit Tasmania, they call them tasmanian devils because of the sounds they make at night. Early settlers thought it was demons making the noise 😂
I know right! They sound completely terrifying. Possums sound so bad too eh.
I grew up in the Aussie bush. Spiders, snakes, Crocs, dingoes. No problem. I spent 3 months in England... agree , trying to drive around the English countryside was just confounding.
I thought he was going to say my wife's has a dream of having a big dick in side her.Now that's comedy!!
I'm now 'in the countryside' and it gets so totally pitch black I can't walk from the garage to the back door without a torch. (Not put the outside lighting in yet..) Without a torch I'm likely to just walk straight into the brickwork. My postcode also takes drivers down a dead-end, so for every delivery I add 'Do Not Follow Sat-Nav once in the village'. Anyone trying to steal the car is likely to just fall into the trench where the new drains are going.
Don’t find Micheal Mcintyre funny at all he’s just annoying and the Countryside sounds nothing like this🤷♂️
Sorry but never heard a fox make the noise he suggested.
I stayed in the country... in Kenya.. Cabin in the wood, Isiolo, you could see the mountain and the animal sounds in the night were interesting... we also got an elephant scratching its back with the help of my bedroom wall. lol and in the morning saw a leopard chilling on the couch outside. no wonder we had guns everywhere. it was amazing! #memories #kenyarocks
I can tell you what happens if you call 999 on the road to a public park in broad daylight in the middle of summer, when you find a cyclist bleeding in the middle of the road.Fire, police or Ambulance.Ambulance.What is the name of your street?It's not a street, it's the road from the A### to Whatever public park.What is the name of your street?It hasn't got a name. It's the road that leads from the A### to Whatever public park.You need to tell me the name of your street.(Loop back and repeat several times.)This is the first time I have ever called 999, and I am appalled at your lack of understanding of the fact that roads in the countyside do not have street names.If that's your attitude, I can easily hang up.True fact.
William and Kate
It sounds like they had a possum :)
-What does the fox say?- 2:30
They took frankie Boyle off the bbc to let this bloke have more air time 😴
Night shift Animals and Giving directions..SO TRUE,Plus I swear I leave my normal sweet cats outside,by night time it's like WTF is that noise, what are those things outside...the night shift cats lol.. you give directions by puddles,and where the local cop ate his sandwiches earlier :D and Yes the Sun goes down COMPLETELY LOL
Cats are the worst, at night they used to keep my up at night making all kind of strange sounds. The loudest sounds they make are when they have a territorial fight and scream at each other for 2 hours before finally having some sort of a fight. I knocked on the window and shouted myself to scare them but they ignore it completely.
about as funny as cancer
So funny! 😁
I live in the Jungle. The night is terrifying.
He forgot badgers snacking on hedgehogs and smashing up your fences
SPAM! SPAM! SPAM! SPAM! SPAM! SPAM! SPAM! SPAM! SPAM! SPAM! DON'T LIKE BEING SPAMMED??? NEITHER DO I! STOP FLASH-PLAYER SPAMMING PEOPLE TO WATCH YOUR CRAP VIDEOS!
His country accent 🤣🤣
Happy days. I would love to be in the audience, but I'm sure the theatre owner would be great full I wasn't. I would break the seat , maybe leave a damp patch , let's be real a huge wet patch . Take care everyone 😉
Its funny because its true
One of the funniest guys ever!
Great. Haven't laugh this hard in quite a while.
Yep....spent years in the countryside and heard noises that would make Jesus nervous..... Best years of my life......
Two things in this world are always funny. Animals and Michael McIntyre. 😅
I cried laughing at the noises.
I have gone to several houses in the country that only have names but at least the post codes were accurate.
I used to deliver furniture and the rural 'house names on a back-road' were the worst ones to find. That was long before sat-nav.
This bloke is about as funny as cancer
Lusifa Why are you here then?
THE PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN THE CITY WITH GUNS KILL PEOPLE BECAUSE THERE IS NO WILD ANIMALS IN THE CITY . THE PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN THE COUNTRYSIDE WITH GUNS USE THEM TO KILL ANIMALS TO EAT OR TO STOP THE WILD ANIMALS FROM EATING THE LIVE STOCK . NOT TO KILL PEOPLE . AND MOST PEOPLE IN THE COUNTRYSIDE HAVE GUNS ONLY THE PEOPLE WHO HAVE MOVED TO THE COUNTRY SIDE FROM THE CITY'S DON'T HAVE GUNS. AND THEY THINK ITS TERRIBLE THAT PEOPLE HAVE WORKING DOGS TO LOOK AFTER THE LIVE STOCK LIVE OUT SIDE ????
I live in the countryside, but I have never heard a fox throw up😂😂😂
If he wants to swap houses, I'd be up for it.
I love how he doesn't have to relate to sex in all of his jokes,his jokes are so simple yet relatable and funny
I've called child protection services. Michael's bangs are suffering from shaken baby syndrome to an extent never seen before!
Not that funny ,,, sorry,,, Lee evens, enough said
Can he be anymore middle-class and annoying?
This human is hilarious! 😂
Is this what happens if you live your entire life in London? Down that London Town, they don't understand our simple country ways.
meanwhile on Scotland flash-player.org/channel/h3i7psdly7Q-video.html
Unfunny fat cunt performing for retards
The night shift animals 😆
Allthough funny he totally stole these two bits off of Louis Ck and Bill Burr.
hahaha Cityboy alert, in norway the scariest sound to hear in the night is the great big moose XD
This guy is hilarious...!!! 😂🤣He is such a natural at his job...erm i mean comedy...!!! 🗣👌🔝👍
obviously he's never heard a fox...they sound more like someone screaming...it's actually far more terrifying
Crying out for an advert by what3words lol
Townies. Stay where you are. We don't want you here.
Hes so boring
When you live in the country and you don’t hear any of these things...
I dont normally like stand up, but this is genuinely hilarious!
Reminded me of my childhood in Suffolk. I live in Brighton now and it's just weird noises from mental people and seagulls
Oh my gosh - this was reminding me of Suffolk as well, especially my first time there - my at-the-time fiance's parents lived in Suffolk (near Ed Sheeran's place), now that is 'real country' - and I had to stay there with them for a few winter months while fiance was setting up business elsewhere. I'm from the city, and I will NEVER forget the nights there - the first time I went outside at night, I had the fright of my life! Michael is NOT exaggerating about it haha - and that's what makes it so funny - it's the shared experience of that.. you really can't see anything... I was SO freaked out. (I live in Brighton now too BTW - and I was warned beforehand about the seagulls - but far worse for us is not so much 'mental people's weird noises as drunk students, and drunk other people, walking past talking loudly or shouting, every single night and well into morning...."SHUT UP!!". Hot summer nights when you have to have the windows open are the worst!
What a difference a day makes 😍
Probably moved because of him being robbed :(
No he has a place both in London and a second home in the country for getaways!!
I can confirm all of this. 😂😂
The screaming child sound is foxs having sex, they're always at it.
It actually is terrifying driving in the countryside at night.
It's safer, as you can see any vehicle coming for miles by its lights...... What's the problem? Perhaps the bright red eyes watching you from the hedge?
So take me back to London. 😂😂😂
Can't stand this pompous cunt truly unfunny 🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧
the child screaming noise, is a fox.
I was thinking that, a vixen noise
I LOVE Michael - this is hilarious🤗🤣🤣🤣. I have watched him live at the 02. The best!! As for his book...OMG! Found myself laughing out loud in the underground as I read his book. Love him so much. I could watch him all day
22 on trending! Michael McIntyre always makes me laugh ❤️❤️
God... he is so fucking awful. Comedy for the moronic masses.
Hahaha if I got married I’d be the one answering the sounds in the middle of the night... why? Because I’m always down to swing at something to get rid of some tense energies. Lmao!
When he says "I think the problem is there is another man in the house. So I'm going to let him be the man of the house now" 😂😂😂😂😂
Put the burglar on the phone. Bwahahahaha....
The English countryside sounds like a nursing home.
You just know he was the one with tears in this eyes 👀 💦Gay... 👍
I prefer animal noise than sirens any night of the week!
already got more subscribers than Jimmy Carr
Funniest man I’ve seen in decades. There’s nothing funnier than everyday life!
I guess now we know what the fox says....
I live in the country. All of it is true. Ive lived here whole life and i still dont have a clue what bird sounds like that and I would like to keep it like that