Jimmy Carr
Jimmy Carr
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Video

My Girlfriend! | Jimmy Carr
Views 720K2 months ago

Comments

  • $hamik_RoY
    $hamik_RoY 18 hours ago

    Can someone explain the joke at 5:27?

  • shit dicks
    shit dicks 18 hours ago

    🤣🤣🤣fucking pissa mate 👌👍👍

  • M Heb
    M Heb 19 hours ago

    Wow! A True comedian is a very rare cat indeed. Please leave comedy to those with the gift.

  • Ethan George
    Ethan George 20 hours ago

    I wanna hear him try some kiwi accents

  • Henrik Høyrup
    Henrik Høyrup 21 hour ago

    The few times the crowd goes "hahah....ooohhhh" are the funniest parts of the video. Funnier than the jokes themselves.

  • David Schmidt
    David Schmidt 21 hour ago

    With a police man on his back............ dude's got jokes ehh????????😆😆😆

  • Tara Wright
    Tara Wright 21 hour ago

    If the landline rings in our house past 9pm ... Nana died!

  • woiour loin
    woiour loin 21 hour ago

    12:33 did.. did he just.. laugh while exhaling?

  • mercedes M
    mercedes M 23 hours ago

    thanks so much for sharing, you make my days easier

  • Tony 82 Young
    Tony 82 Young Day ago

    Terrible!

  • martinolsen007

    2:41 wow.. what a cute smile 😀

  • TheGamerhub
    TheGamerhub Day ago

    How’s it pronounced? *BLEHHHH*

  • Donald Piniach

    Similar: My girlfriend told me that I have 6 of 11 traits of a pedophile. I said back that "pedophile" was a pretty big word for a ten year old.

    • Falcon Powerful
      Falcon Powerful Day ago

      The best thing about twenty-three year olds? There’s 20 of them!

  • NizzyTV
    NizzyTV Day ago

    Funny guy

  • Pancakecar357
    Pancakecar357 Day ago

    4:25 is his confused dog

  • arun g
    arun g Day ago

    Tree you mean keep them clean?? Any 9gag captains here to explain?

  • AntyVirusUK
    AntyVirusUK Day ago

    ?

  • Indy Majer Willson

    I AM A BRITISH WHITE BOY

  • will jacyna
    will jacyna Day ago

    He “try doesn’t offend people” he tells a controversial joke then covers himself by explaining he doesn’t feel that way lol

  • cnmmd qiuoo
    cnmmd qiuoo Day ago

    I once walked in on myself having sex it was really trippy so I joined in.

  • Joe Georgia
    Joe Georgia Day ago

    I wish I could be as quick witted as he is.

  • ufarley chuck
    ufarley chuck Day ago

    There should be a third option 👍 👎 and👐..like...not quite sure at the moment but I wanna click something.

  • Brent Werne
    Brent Werne Day ago

    It is Disney World, there is no Disneyland in Florida. Next thing you know you will be calling America, F*** Canada.

  • xanimegamerx
    xanimegamerx Day ago

    How is a attractive dentist single

    • woiour loin
      woiour loin 21 hour ago

      🔥 1:55 💘 👇👇👇👇👇🔥

  • Youtube User
    Youtube User Day ago

    Terrorist attacks are the result of the west invading other countries... so blame america

  • John Smith
    John Smith Day ago

    Just like Jimmys political views... It is only bearable to listen to his laugh for a few seconds...

  • sebastian alegria

    He reminds me of Gary Oldman because of the way he speaks other accents. Moreover, I thought Gary was the only but, I'm wrong, Jimmy is good at it too.

  • P.C. Π.Χ.Φ.Ω

    Damn, this guy's face looks like a marionette's...

  • MrCraftyG
    MrCraftyG Day ago

    Westminster likes that joke

  • mjstar mjsun
    mjstar mjsun Day ago

    i heard, jimmy Saville and rolf Harris were going to collaborate with Noel Edmond's and make a tv game show titled are you tighter than a 10 year old....

  • Alice Rose
    Alice Rose Day ago

    I didn't get this f**king joke:( I'd really appreciate if someone explains it to me

  • Luis Gonzalez
    Luis Gonzalez Day ago

    help me please!! im from venezuela and i barely have something to eat just 100$ are more than enogh i'll just leave this here, my bitcoin address just in case 17q2czaXwyB446tNhWjquyum2eQMV7Qhsq and my paypal account: [email protected]@t

  • Jack Spinola
    Jack Spinola Day ago

    Jimmy you are Great

  • zuygj bnsv
    zuygj bnsv Day ago

    Jimmy shaking his hand is the weirdest thing I've ever seen

    • cnmmd qiuoo
      cnmmd qiuoo Day ago

      Those tax dodging jokes have really aged well, don't you think Jimmy?

  • Mucus 23
    Mucus 23 Day ago

    Filthy disturbed man. Brilliant

  • Tracey Ebanks
    Tracey Ebanks Day ago

    He's like a UK version of a calmer 'Jim Carey' character.

  • kelly hill
    kelly hill Day ago

    Jimmy is a hilarious comedian but that little fucking laugh at the end of his punch lines ....ha ha haa !! Is so fucking annoying. And what's worse is that it's something new that he has incorporated into his act because watch some of his older stuff he doesn't do it. And he really reaches the height of being almost unwatchable at 1:00.43

  • Bam! TheComputerGuy 4u

    Damn...Those who watch porn would've gotten that Jordi joke 😂

  • Armand Alikaj
    Armand Alikaj 2 days ago

    So painful to watch...this New York crowd should watch Jimmy's shows around UK!!!

  • One Zen Man
    One Zen Man 2 days ago

    I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon. I'll let you know.

  • Matthew Keith
    Matthew Keith 2 days ago

    poor jokes, and not funny. Poor Audience

  • tonyfanfarone
    tonyfanfarone 2 days ago

    Wow. Can’t believe the groaning. Come to Canada for a tour. I seem to remember John Cleese saying “ Canadians are clever, they get it, its a joke”. I almost fell asleep.

  • Robert Knoll
    Robert Knoll 2 days ago

    You missed the incipient threat level.

  • Withering Liberal
    Withering Liberal 2 days ago

    That mom was hot!

  • Molags Balls
    Molags Balls 2 days ago

    yanks cant bant

  • Tony James
    Tony James 2 days ago

    Comedy genius, with superb Deliverence, harmless clever man

  • danmar007
    danmar007 2 days ago

    Crazy Jimmy.

  • Andrew Bloom
    Andrew Bloom 2 days ago

    Those two rock and roll types were expecting a performance involving lots of wierd loud sounds, sexually aggressive imagery, and swearing. And since it's a Jimmy carr gig, they were in luck!

  • T reX
    T reX 2 days ago

    Click on the subscribe button that is on my forehead, just keep tapping on every pixel until you find it

  • John Nispeling
    John Nispeling 2 days ago

    Funny enough, but your “laugh” please, please don’t mr Carr?

  • Robert Lively
    Robert Lively 2 days ago

    3 some he ha

  • zdcyclops1 lickley
    zdcyclops1 lickley 2 days ago

    Jimmy study your history. The US didn't drag your country into any wars. WWI and WWII England was at war when the US entered on the UK's side. The fall of Saddam Hussein a UN sanctioned to operation to remove Saddam from Kuwait. The US asked nations from around the world to help stabilize the nations of the middle east.Your country decided on it's own to help defend freedom. We didn't know at the time that you were going to cry about it, or we would have told you to go home. we'll do it with out you.

  • Pandas Pls
    Pandas Pls 2 days ago

    Did you know that Jesus didn’t die a virgin...............he was nailed right before he died

  • Fight untillyoudrop

    Jimmy carr, Question for you... why do you wear eyeliner? To make your self more pretty??

  • utbdoug
    utbdoug 2 days ago

    But did Steve ever get that date!?

    • zuygj bnsv
      zuygj bnsv Day ago

      17:10 Clearly yeees! HAHAHAHA best. 18:06 That expression! hahaha.

  • Ace Hardy
    Ace Hardy 2 days ago

    🎶

  • ChocolateStarfish
    ChocolateStarfish 2 days ago

    Jimmy... I want to Space Dock you 😘🤭😉xxx

  • Nathan Drumgoole
    Nathan Drumgoole 2 days ago

    Stampylongdick

  • Bob Dobalina
    Bob Dobalina 2 days ago

    Jimmy, I'm worried about this corona virus and all I get is follow the guidelines of the Who. What does Roger Daltrey know about viruses?

    • Jon Z
      Jon Z 2 days ago

      Yeah, no.

  • Bob Dobalina
    Bob Dobalina 2 days ago

    Jimmy, I need advice, can I get the corona virus wanking over Chinese porn?

  • Mr Krunch
    Mr Krunch 2 days ago

    Choo Choo!

  • Marshall Davis
    Marshall Davis 2 days ago

    You know how to get a Jewish girl number Look at her arm

  • Abe Remillard
    Abe Remillard 2 days ago

    Eat your cereal

  • Paul Kenny
    Paul Kenny 2 days ago

    Jimmy is like trump, seems to get away with everything, lol

    • Falcon Powerful
      Falcon Powerful Day ago

      I guess the biggest differences are Jimmy has an IQ above that of a baked capsicum, and his skin is white.

    • Paul Kenny
      Paul Kenny Day ago

      Agent J you should cut back on whatever your on

    • Agent J
      Agent J Day ago

      @D. N. BHATTACHARYA that's avoidance, not evasion. You can tell because he didn't go to jail. Now, how you defend libel is only left with ignorance to defend your tort of Humanity.

    • D. N. BHATTACHARYA
      D. N. BHATTACHARYA Day ago

      Except for tax fraud.

  • Notorious
    Notorious 2 days ago

    This guy and bill get away with saying anything lmao

  • Mason The Gooner
    Mason The Gooner 2 days ago

    Chew chew

  • William Steven
    William Steven 2 days ago

    19:46. How ironic.

  • Anda Niewiederrest
    Anda Niewiederrest 2 days ago

    12:30 Whoa?!? What kinda laugh is that -- his real one?

  • Suhaib Ahmed
    Suhaib Ahmed 2 days ago

    Thousands of suicides that day

  • Mikey McMikeFace
    Mikey McMikeFace 2 days ago

    Umm... He's gonna finish with *one* unpleasant joke. After telling nice family friendly ones for 90 minutes. Yeah, sure, that's what Jimmy does! Ahahaha hahahahaha ahaha.

  • Tiffany's Tales
    Tiffany's Tales 2 days ago

    So wrong , yet so funny hahaha , love it

    • duck man
      duck man Day ago

      You gotta be a bad girl if you like this jokes. I highly doubt that a kind loving mother would be amused by this jokes.

  • Anthony W Stanton
    Anthony W Stanton 2 days ago

    You are truly amazing Mr. Carr!

  • Bainsworth
    Bainsworth 2 days ago

    wait...you what? aeroplane noise in the mouth? fark, this pedofile is rich and famous and hiding in plain sight

    • username1nmillion
      username1nmillion Day ago

      @Bainsworth I felt the #Joke was hilarious, *Although* i thoroughly disapprove of *MASSIVE* age gaps between sexual partners such as displayed by Hollywood celebrities like the relationship between Harrison Ford and Cristina Flockart. 👨‍💻🇦🇺 🤣💑 {🧟‍♂️👶} 🤢

    • The Grin Reaper
      The Grin Reaper 2 days ago

      @Bainsworth He is a comedian. These are jokes. Also these are jokes he said after the show is over as encore. You obviously have your head shoved up your ass to know this.

    • Bainsworth
      Bainsworth 2 days ago

      this english pedofile clown should reconsider his toxic worthless material...it reflects on his character with laser precision and influences the egglandians into being pedofiles and motivates them to join the 5 million already in south east asia.

    • The Grin Reaper
      The Grin Reaper 2 days ago

      @Bainsworth The British removed slavery from the world, all of their colony are strong independent countries today, not to mention establishing the English language so people can communicate better. But by all mean explain how such a thing is the enemy of the world?

  • Hippy House
    Hippy House 2 days ago

    Jimmy "Ah ha ha HAa" Carr

  • Lemon Sheep
    Lemon Sheep 2 days ago

    I feel like this guy just says all the jokes I made during secondary school in a funnier way

  • TRUMP MAGA
    TRUMP MAGA 2 days ago

    i have to see Jimmy live in concert

  • Patricia Xxxx
    Patricia Xxxx 2 days ago

    Jimmy I have heard you say alot worse..🤪

  • Stacey Sturgill
    Stacey Sturgill 2 days ago

    I do work with mentally disabled adults and I do laugh more, I also swear more than the average bear (out of earshot).

  • AntyVirusUK
    AntyVirusUK 2 days ago

    15.42 jimmy's most normal laugh

  • Bad.
    Bad. 2 days ago

    Coming up to 20 years of being a comedian, Congrats!

  • red headed psycho
    red headed psycho 2 days ago

    just watched one of his videos now with him preforming in front of americans... i don't think they understand humour lol

    • duck man
      duck man 18 hours ago

      @Alexandra Arendse no, that's not a good analogy. Because humor is humor, whether they're dark or light is only in the perception of the person. And it's completely irrelevant. You should stop focusing on that because it's not helping your thinking in anyway!

    • Alexandra Arendse
      Alexandra Arendse 19 hours ago

      @duck man You're the one who is thinking on a shallow level. Humans are complex and we can completely laugh at things that internally distress us. Again, I'll reference the cancer analogy. So if someone laughs at cancer, that immediately means they wish to be ill or think cancer itself is humouress? You just don't get dark humour, there's nothing wrong with the rest of us. You're just an utter imbecile.

    • duck man
      duck man 19 hours ago

      @Alexandra Arendse you're not even replying to what I was saying. And you only look at things on the surface. I made it clear with my reply to Immortal that it's possible that people may not like the reality of things and yet like the idea of them. That's why they enjoy jokes about them, stories about them, games/movies about them. Because deep down they like the idea. Sometimes even to the ignorance of their own awareness. But they like it. Otherwise, they'd not be entertained by those thoughts and ideas. Instead, they'd be disgusted and horrified. And logically speaking, for something to give you a positive reaction, it has to resonate with your heart, or else, the reaction would be one of the negative. It's simple as that. And enjoying this ideas only when they're presented as jokes and not when they're just as that do not make any logical sense at all. Because ideas are ideas, be them real or not. You only like it because it resonate with you. That's why some can't enjoy jokes like this. It's not because they don't understand "dark" humor. They just simply don't resonate with them. And I looked at your picture and I can say by looking at your eyes, that there's darkness in you. Not that there's anything wrong with that, just you're not as good as you want to think you are!

    • Alexandra Arendse
      Alexandra Arendse Day ago

      @duck man No? You can find humour in something and hate it. Are you kidding? I make jokes out of sexism all the time. Yet, I'm a feminist. Your point doesn't make any sense. If you don't understand dark humour, don't try to assume things about it. Like I said, it's not a reflection of the internal workings of a person, people just find different things funny, and other people like to laugh at darker things as a coping mechanism. I know of people who were diagnosed with cancer, and they made jokes out of it to cope. You think that they want to die from cancer? You haven't made a good enough point to assume you're right and we're wrong.

    • red headed psycho
      red headed psycho Day ago

      @duck man you love me? .. aww thank you :)

  • Barrios Groupie
    Barrios Groupie 2 days ago

    I didn't get this joke right away, since a rocket isn't strictly speaking an aeroplane

  • Stacey Sturgill
    Stacey Sturgill 2 days ago

    I do work with mentally disabled adults and I do laugh more, I also swear more than the average bear (out of earshot).

  • red headed psycho
    red headed psycho 2 days ago

    don't know why Jimmy went to America..Americans don't understand humour lol went though the comments and read "at least we have good dental!" lmfao come on america, get new script. our dental is perfect now. i've seen Americans with bad teeth but don't mock them

  • Adithya Sudheer
    Adithya Sudheer 2 days ago

    Jimmy shaking his hand is the weirdest thing I've ever seen

  • J.D. Stuart
    J.D. Stuart 2 days ago

    How has Jimmy Carr made it to the point of this video not hearing about a blumkin

  • Judith Maria Bradley

    😉. ADORABLE.

  • Jan Alleman
    Jan Alleman 2 days ago

    Next time someone is feeding his/her child and making those sounds this will also be the one thing they will think of

    • david james
      david james Day ago

      Karan you’re not even ironically funny

    • Karan
      Karan Day ago

      @Jacob King Make me Jacob Queen.

    • Jacob King
      Jacob King Day ago

      Shut up @Karan

    • Karan
      Karan Day ago

      @duck man Thanks 😖💝

  • JamaicanMe crazy
    JamaicanMe crazy 2 days ago

    Five dislikes? Must be those bloody child protectionists.

  • New Message
    New Message 2 days ago

    Love makes me go "AHHHHH!" every time.

    • Knee Grow
      Knee Grow Day ago

      Love is a weird name for an 8 year old.

  • AJP Streams
    AJP Streams 2 days ago

    So wrong....yet so funny 🤣🤣🤣

  • Roger Auger
    Roger Auger 2 days ago

    Brilliant!

  • Wecoc1
    Wecoc1 2 days ago

    To be fair every joke he tells he's like 'AAAHH AAAHH AAAHH AAAA'

  • Aden Willemburg
    Aden Willemburg 2 days ago

    Jesus Jimmy is the best out there

  • Mike Kaatman
    Mike Kaatman 2 days ago

    Face of an accountant....mind of a sewer rat.....i love the combo...hahaha.

    • lightawake
      lightawake Day ago

      Posture of a gentleman

    • SpikeFlea
      SpikeFlea Day ago

      The suit is what seals the deal too. That and no one else is wearing a suit doing standup these days.

    • Aapo
      Aapo 2 days ago

      And voice of a BBC news anchor.

  • DefaltAdmin
    DefaltAdmin 2 days ago

    this dude makes me choke on air laughing

    • Karan
      Karan 2 days ago

      @Mikey McMikeFace yup

    • Mikey McMikeFace
      Mikey McMikeFace 2 days ago

      Uh, okay...

    • Karan
      Karan 2 days ago

      @Mikey McMikeFace it is genetic.I saw my dad peeing and I was shocked we both have same size.

    • Mikey McMikeFace
      Mikey McMikeFace 2 days ago

      @Karan Welp. That's an exceptionally short one.

    • Karan
      Karan 2 days ago

      If you are a girl then you choke on my 2cm sausage 😏

  • Robert E. O. Speedwagon

    He has another accent it goes like. *Carr noises*

  • Nursultan Tulyakbay

    What a maniac!

  • Sagar Hirani
    Sagar Hirani 2 days ago

    Clever joke. First few to comment. 1000 likes. Edit: Woah so many likes! This blew up!

    • Wibster
      Wibster 2 days ago

      Sagar Hirani that is quite possibly the sadest thing I’ve read in a long while lol

    • Ravenous Neptune
      Ravenous Neptune 2 days ago

      @llTryhard2k r/wooosh

    • Saltylil G
      Saltylil G 2 days ago

      What a maniac

    • llTryhard2k
      llTryhard2k 2 days ago

      Sagar Hirani U have no likes lmao

  • Harmonica D000d
    Harmonica D000d 2 days ago

    "Well I was fucking a child in the face."